( ; _ ; )/
How pathetic...
It really is pathetic.
I'm so frustrated with myself, I can't stand it.
On my duty days, I work 24 hours straight.
Then, I spend 99% of my free time on my off days preparing to start my business.
By "free time," I mean the time I have when I'm not doing housework or raising my children.
#It's really very little time
Basically, I use all the time I would have spent relaxing on my own to prepare for my business.
I haven't gone surfing or SUP fishing once this season.
#It's not that I can't go, I just don't go.
#Once things settle down, I'm going to spend all my time in the ocean.
Because it's clear that I have no time to relax.
And even when I do have some free time, it's really very little, and even then my children relentlessly barge in.
I know that.
I know, and my children aren't to blame in the slightest.
But they barge in on me while I'm building my website, or cry and scream, "Show me YouTube!" while I'm writing a blog post on my phone.
It really takes a tremendous amount of effort just to make a single step forward.
I really want them to just leave me alone.
I work while they're crying and screaming, and I make products while carrying them in a baby carrier.
And yet, in the end,
I'm told,
"I hate you, Dad!"
That's the world I live in.
I'm 700 million times worse at parenting than I am at my job.
#A business plan for parenting will never work
In the midst of all this, I lost my temper with my eldest son today.
I have three children, and the youngest is still zero years old.
The two older ones, aged 3 and 5, really fight every two minutes, cry and scream every three minutes, and are constantly singing, dancing, and running wild.
Tomorrow, December 14, is the rescue symposium in Tokyo.
It's the day I've staked my life on.
This day will mark the moment I fully commit to starting my business.
If I could, I'd like to spend my time visualizing how to get along with everyone and studying in advance.
I think I was just anxious.
I think my eldest son just wanted to play with me.
But I was genuinely ignoring him and only half-heartedly interacting with him, so he must have been frustrated and lonely.
And I got irritated with him for it.
#It really is pathetic
Even though it's a challenge I chose myself, someone who gets irritated like that is definitely not fit to be a business owner.
Let alone get irritated with my family, who are my biggest supporters.
I need to think about what to do about that.
I haven't thought of anything yet.
I know that parenting is really hard and difficult, but I've learned how much of a difference it makes when you have more patience.
I mustn't rush.
There are things I can't change.
I need to accept those things and move forward calmly and systematically.
Don't rush, don't rush.
Take a break, take a break.
Smile, smile.
Keep smiling, keep smiling.
Alright, now the whole family is going to Huis Ten Bosch.
If you also get irritated like this with parenting,
then please vent about it on LINE!
Let's comfort each other! Lol
So I'm going to do my best, and you should too!!
Bye-bye!!